Face Lift

I would just like to take a second to show you the lovely background that my husband created especially for me… Without my knowledge or consent…

… At least he is confident in my love.

As you may or may not know, we have been giving our sweet, little, semi- disgusting in places, extremely old fashioned, wood paneled home a face lift. Before we even moved in at all my family came over and spent a few hours cleaning and making it less overwhelming for us (They rock. Winner!). More recently my mom and I spent a good 5 hours scrubbing down the kitchen and preparing it for paint. If you have never painted a dirty old kitchen before then you simply cannot imagine how awful it is and how long it takes to even get to the point where you can open the blasted cans and get some paint on the darn walls.

This is what our house looked like before we started:::

Nice ay?I know you are jealous... it's ok. I understand. I am livin the dream man!

We, my mom and I, scrubbed all of the cabinets, sprayed them all with bleach water and Maleluca. Ohhhh. If you have not heard of Maleluca (which seems unlikely for those of you living in Rexburg…) you should definitely get on it. Incredible disinfecting powers, no harmful fumes or toxins! I spent a bajillion hours cleaning the repulsive refrigerator. I thought about taking a picture, but decided to spare you. Ryan somewhat reluctantly volunteered his services as Dead Mouse Remover. Then I wiped down every hideously wood paneled surface in the beast with more bleach water. Finally it looked like this:::

That’s my momma, she declined my invitation to pose…

HEY! Quick sidenote. Remember how I told you about Ryan’s cute little surprise the other night??? Here’s what it looked like:::

We like him.

Anywho.

Mom and I painted our little hearts out, while our husbands worked on The Water Problem to no avail. I was on ceiling duty. Which can get pretty tiring…

And desperate times call for desperate measures. Although... unless you are a fan of large paint drops on your forehead, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend lying down on the floor to paint the ceiling.

Ryan is not a fan of picture taking:

Kitchen: Primed!

Now on to the real stuff!

The Water Problem

The problem with water is that once you have it, in a running/ indoor plumbing type situation, you get kind of used to it. Shocking, I know… You fall in love with the idea of being able to turn a little knob and the instant gratification that comes in the form a lovely liquid rope pouring from the facet. You get wooed by its consistency. You feel safe in the waterfall of its warm showering rain. You become captured by the delicious taste and the way it can bring your cooking, cleaning, and bathing dreams to life. It truly is a love affair to rock the ages.

So you can imagine my dismay when my liquid lover was torn from me.

Yesterday I discovered a puddle in our bedroom closet. Bad news. As it turns out, the plumbing for the bathroom runs right down the left side of our closet. Literally. There is not even a wall covering that junk. Indecent! Not sure whose bright idea that was. Probably the same genius that decided it was not necessary to cover the section exposed to the outside. Pure brilliance right there. But the real kicker, is the leak. See all the rest of it is really neither here, nor there. I mean, ok, fine. We have some plumbing going commando in our closet. And I can see daylight through my closet floor. Whatever. It’s when you add the steady leak through said plumbing that I become less than pleased.

I love water. I love to drink it, bath in it, cook with it, swim in it, float on it…. Need I go on? I feel that my devotion to water has been more than established. Wet, that is supposed to be wet I like. Love, even. Wet, that is not supposed to be wet… I hate. Loathe, even. My closet floor? NOT supposed to be wet.

The leak is a good one. If that leak were a money, I would have no problem with it! It’s a steady and stubborn little guy. I wouldn’t mind my floor being drenched with money… Unfortunately the stubborn leak is not money. Nor is it going anywhere. At least for the time being. So after filling up some containers, my relationship with water came to an abrupt and painful end.

How I know...

(Attention, as discussed previously, I lack regular access to the internet. So blogging shall be coming in spurts. This is one such spurt. Hence the multiple posts in a short period of time... :) Now back to our regularly scheduled program...)

...I married the right man:::

*Listening to him pray in Spanish every other night makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

*He tries so hard to figure out what to do when I am upset. When I don't even know what I want him to do, he just keeps trying.

* He looks at me like I am the most precious thing in the world.

*Surprisingly enough, I don't feel like our nightly bedtime routine is complete until he pulls out the neck of my shirt and takes a peek to "make sure the girls are still there"

* Yesterday, I was cranky when we got home because after 35 minutes on the phone with customer service and technician people, my phone still didn't work. I went straight to bed, to mope of course. After coming in to make sure I was okay he left on a "Top Secret Mission." I could hear him tinkering around in the living room and kitchen. Walking down the hall. Moving stuff around. (Our home is a wreck on account of us just moving in and it being in the middle of a mid-life crisis. It is getting a face-lift.) Turns out my surprise was a semi-normal looking living room all set up with a bowl of cereal for me (the only food we have in the house) and a movie ready to play. He had re-arranged the furniture, moved disorganized piles of our junk from the counters and generally cleaned up. He is amazing.

* We watched "Charlie St. Cloud" last night. I cried, and he laughed at me. He cried and I laughed at him.

... he will be a good father:::

* In sacrament yesterday Ryan was sitting next to my mom. Who was holding my niece.
(This is her at our wedding. She is licking the wind. Duh.) Bella was eating some whales, and drinkin her water. Just being cute. When outta nowhere, Ryan reaches down and bites her big toe, which elicits smiles and giggles galore.

*Later on in the meeting, Bella spit out a chunk of water down, mushy whale and it landed right on her tummy. My first reaction: tell mom to get it and throw it away. Ryan's first reaction: pick it up and eat it. Which he did. Man. Have I ever mentioned how much I love him??? :) Winner!!!

* We went to nursery yesterday, to get a feel for it and learn the routine that my Katie-sister (the current nursery leader) had established. There were so many "Winner" moments in that buisness that I can't even write em all down! For instance, he turned the little stick-the-right-shaped-block-in-the-right-shaped-hole toy into the funnest game ever, and made Woody (the cute little 2 year old, not the cowboy sheriff with a snake in his boot) look at him like he was a super hero.

*The reason he cried while watching "Charlie St. Cloud": He missed his little brother.

Winner... and The Suck Pile.

Winner!!! I like to shout this whenever I am feeling triumphant:::

~Finally getting a phone! I am on my way to becoming a real adult again! (Not too long ago I was a fake adult.Which is kind of like a real one, except it is fake. On accout of it not being able to do anything that a real one can... My phone was broken. I had lost my wallet. All of our money is in Cubican's accout, to which I have no access. No talking, driving or buying= FAKE adult.) And now here I sit. 2/3 a real adult (I still have no dollars...)

~ McDonald's Sweet Chili sauce. 'nuf said.

~ Called to the Nursery. I get to play with the kiddos while all you poor schmucks have to sit in class! Plus in Ryan's words "We get snack!!!" Definitely a "WINNER" :)

~ Sleeping in till 11, and even then, not getting out of bed till noon. Ohhhhh yes.

~ Family barbecues. They make my soul sparkle.

The Suck Pile. Once upon a time, my sistas and I were creating works of crafty genius. Unfortunately the genius did not spred evenly to each creation... some were lacking. THese we threw into a pile... and thus the "suck pile" was born. And it is still going strong (in spirit) today. Turns out, there are a plethora of things that belong there:::

~No cell phone service or internet available anywhere in my casa. Yes. I literally live under a rock. OK , fine. Not literally. But I figuratively the heck out of it!!!

~ I have the hiccups right this very now. Freaking hate these body shaking eruptions. Grrrr. Or if I was Cassie: Hissssss.

~ Paint for my dumb house cost over $300.

~ The curtains in my dumb bedroom in my dumb house are currently just lace. So at night when we have our lights on, the dumb bugs are attracted and the idiot beast launch themselves at our window in an effort to reach the unattainable light source. The resulting sound is quite creepy and resembles the sound of mice pitter-pattering. Which is a possibility I refuse to consider!

~ We found out the hard way that our freezer, for whatever reason, is not cold enough to keep ice cream from turning into really sweet, thick milk...

Frog, Frog, BAT! ... kind of like "Duck, Duck, Goose" only more shocking

In an unexpected turn of events... I kind of like this blogging thing. I do indeedy. Which is lucky for you! I know you are all oh so interested in hearing what it is that I have to say. You don't have to admit it. It's ok. For now it can just be an unspoken truth!

There was a bat in the living room today. BAM! Came outta nowhere with that one didn't I!? You can re-read it now if you would like, I'll wait... I know it is a little hard to grasp. But yes, I am not being at all facetious. There was a BAT in the living room. Like a sonar-using, fruit eating, little, tiny, gray, Stellaluna BAT in the living room. I almost crapped a kitten. I don't know how up close and personal you have ever been with a bat, but hmmmm. Take a moment to consider the implications. I'll tell you how it went down:::

Kate and I were sittin there all happy and oblivious. Just watching "So you think you can dance". Cuz we are cool like that. Eating some incredible Jamba Juice frozen-yogurt-on-a-stick thing (completely delicious by the way, totally recommend them). When all the sudden Katie stops. She holds up her phone to shed some light on the situation. "What is that?!?! Is it a frog???!?!?".... no. Its not a frog. "I think it's a bat!!!" The freaking out commenced. Both of us jump off the couch and run away. Until we realize that we probably would actually rather keep an eye on our tiny, slightly creepy, winged friend. In the end with the help of a laughing mother, a pot and a big envelope the little darling was set free. And Katie could imitate how bats "walk" in peace. Its quite creepy (how they walk, not Katie's imitation), I tell you. But really. No big deal. I mean really, you didn't have to scream or anything... I sure didn't! Nope. No sir. Not even a little bit...

Finally home... ish

I feel that it is my duty as a newlywed to start a blog to document our life and other hopefully interesting tidbits! So lets get right down to it, shall we? YES, we shall.

Ryan and I, for some unknown reason decided it would be a lovely idea to elongate the wonderful wedding bliss by having not one, but two receptions along with a charming little open house. In theory this is a lovely idea. We have family and loved ones spread out across the country, so why not involve them all in our celebration, right? ... Turns out the answer to that is in fact right, but a very bittersweet right. Because in the fine print you will please note that in order to bring this seemingly harmless idea to fruition you have to drive 34 hours one way and then 36 hours back. Yeah. Let that mull over for a bit. Not so sweet anymore is it?

We drove 34 hours from Missouri to Oregon. Then from Oregon to Idaho. Then back home. Oh boy. Let me just say: it was awful.

Well the driving part that is. It was wonderful seeing Ryan's family in Oregon and then all of our college friends in Idaho. Plus, added bonus::: I got to visit the Portland and the Rexburg temples!
This trip was definitely not about money. It was about smiling and nodding while the amazing members of the Spanish Branch congratulate me... in Spanish... which I do not speak. And eating as much of my mother-in-law's incredible cooking as I could. And building sand houses (not castles, we are not that fancy) in the freezing wind on the Oregon coast. It was about Red Baron pizza 3 times a week, apparently it is the best frozen pizza ( I have that on good authority!). And preparing to jump in the ice cold river, chickening out and then getting pushed in.
All in all: sooooooo worth it :)

But I will forewarn you. Do NOT attempt a 70 hour road trip unless:::
- You are kind of willy nilly with your hygiene, and do not mind forgoing such basic necessities like showering and brushing your teeth.
- You either have air conditioning, a shaved head, or are ok with your tiny-little-hair-wisps-that-refuse-to-stay-bobby-pinned-back whipping you in the face and neck constantly.
- You love having a numb butt!
- Sleep is only something you like to flirt with casually, not have a full on 8-hours a day relationship with.
- You are not creeped out by truck stops, even at 4 in the morning...
- You have a car charger. And really I would make this one of the things you are in charge of. No delegating. Because apparently, "Honey, put this in the car" is not explicit enough and sometimes the charger turns up MIA.

Ahhh... How sweet it is to be finally home... ish... We are temporarily staying with my parents, on account of there not being running water in our home currently. As it turns out I am not generally a willy nilly hygiene type of girl.

Well. On to ice cream, sleep and other sweet things... Until I blog again! :)