I am the mother of two. It's such a strange and exciting, beautiful and sometimes overwhelming thing! Rosie is three weeks old. She is perfect and fits flawlessly into our family. My children are learning and growing and helping me to learn and grow too!
I want to take this time to write down Rosie's birth story, especially because I am dang proud of it :)
(I also want to include this. I don't care how you or anyone else gives birth. Not in the sense that I am not interested, because truthfully I love birth stories. But rather, I make no judgments! Giving birth, no matter how it's accomplished, is an incredible, beautiful, painful, and extremely hard thing to do. I feel that every woman deserves to be proud of it, no matter how it goes down. So please don't take offense to anything I say in this blog. Yes, I am extremely proud of Rosie's birth, but that does not mean that all other birth stories aren't just as worthy of pride. We are participating in a miracle. Literally in partnership with God to bring these spirits to the earth. That is an incredible thing.)
At the doctors appointment right before my due date (April 17) we set up an ultrasound, an additional appointment, and an induction date. My doctor had even offered to induce me the very next day, um, no thank you. Instead, I was set to be induced on the 28th. I was seriously dreading it.
On the 18th my mom and I went in for the ultrasound. Because we seem to be "go big or go home" kind of people when it comes to our kiddos, I have had 5 ultrasounds with each of my pregnancies. This was nothing new. When we went into the room, the ultrasound tech told me that I had been in for an ultrasound just two weeks prior to this one. Oh really!? I had no idea, thank you for reminding me. She then informed me that they generally only do follow up ultrasounds to measure the baby 4 weeks apart, so why was I there? Um, because my doctor told me to. It's not like I ordered the ultrasound myself. Needless to say I was not really looking forward to this particular ultrasound experience. But then everything got a whole lot better! She did all the required angles and measurements, checking to make sure our little lady was just fine. She estimated that Rosie would be about 8 lbs 7 oz, obviously this was an underestimate. Then, she got a different wand thing and put it on my belly. She held it still for a few seconds and then on the screen was the most beautiful picture of my daughter. I have never had a 3D ultrasound before, and oh my gosh it blew my mind! We saw her perfect face so clearly and I was even more eager for her to be born. Little did I know, I would have to wait another week for her to make her appearance.
Rosie's due date was April 19, 2014... Well this lovely Saturday came and went with not a single contraction or any sign that our little girl would be born soon. The 19th was the day before Easter, and the day we chose to have our egg hunt, so I was okay with still being pregnant. It meant that I was able to celebrate with everyone. Well as much as you can celebrate, while a million weeks pregnant, that is.
Over the next several days I tried to maintain a positive attitude. If I was ever quiet or still, Ryan would ask me if I was okay and every day he would ask "Are you going to have your baby today?" I honestly didn't care when she came, as long as it was before our induction date. But, each day past my due date that ended without a baby or even contractions was extremely discouraging. The hardest part was not knowing when I was going to go into labor. Not knowing meant that there was no way for me to really plan ahead of time who would watch Kylan while we were at the hospital. I had asked several people and of course they had different availablilites, so the "when" was a question that constantly haunted me.
My mom came to stay with us on Wednesday night. At this point, I felt as if I was never going to go into labor. Even though I was so relieved she was there, I felt awful for taking her away from her life. But then, the next day felt different.
I started leaking what I thought might be amniotic fluid Thursday morning. It continued throughout the day but I still wasn't having any contractions. Ryan got home from work and again asked me when I was going to have my baby. I didn't know, but I was beginning to think that this might be the day. My contractions started around 5, but they were far apart and very inconsistent. I was terrified they would stop. I didn't want to tell anyone, not even Ryan and my mom, because I didn't want it to just be false labor. Even though I wasn't sure, I clung to Kylan that evening. I hated to think about being away from him while I was in the hospital and I wanted to cherish every second with him before he went to bed, and I went to have a baby.
The contractions continued , but they were still 10-15 minutes apart and inconsistent. We tried to figure out what to do if I needed to go to the hospital that night. Thankfully, my wonderful sister was willing to drive an hour after working all evening, to stay with Ky. Once that was settled and my bags were waiting by the door, we decided that we might as well get some sleep while we could. This was at about 10:30 or 11:00. I dozed a little, but I was never really able to sleep. The contractions were so intense and I was feeling tons of pressure, even though they were still about 5 to 10 minutes apart. Kylan woke up around 1:30, and I went to comfort him, glad that I was able to see him one more time before we left for the hospital. I labored while everyone slept until I just didn't want to be by myself anymore. I woke Ryan up at 3:30 and he was so sweet and supportive. After just a half hour more I decided I was ready to go the hospital. Ryan woke my mom up and off we went. The 20 minute ride seemed to last an eternity and every contraction made me feel like I was going to die! While he was driving, Ryan tried to comfort me. My whole pregnancy and really ever since I had Kylan, I was determined to not get an epidural. The epidural I got with Kylan didn't even have time to go into effect before he was here. If I could get that far, surely I could go all the way without one. Oh man. These contractions convinced me otherwise. Each time I felt one beginning, I wanted to just escape my own treacherous body and hide somewhere without pain. I decided during that lovely ride that an all natural birth could go to heck, I wanted the epidural 5 hours ago! Ryan tried to comfort me, saying that when I had gotten to that point with Kylan I was already almost done. So maybe that was the case this time as well. With the contractions still pretty far apart I wasn't convinced.
When we got to the labor and delivery triage around 4:30 a.m., everything started moving so fast. When Kylan was born, checking in seemed to take forever. We had to fill out paperwork, they made me leave a sample and weighed me... This time I was in and out of triage in just a few minutes. When they checked me I was at a 6. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I immediately said yes! I practically begged for one. They told me that I could get one as soon as my labs came back, which would take about 15 minutes. I was dying. There was so much pressure and with every contraction I felt like I was going to poop (which is how I had been feeling for a while), gross but true. My nurse checked me again, and said I was at a 7 and that my water was super close to breaking, which she said explained the pressure. They brought in the cart for the epidural and I still felt like I just couldn't make it. Each contraction, all I could say and think was "no no no no no!" I just didn't want to do it! I told my mom and nurse that I still felt so much pressure. They said that it was okay, so with the next contraction I just pushed to try and relieve the pressure... Whoosh!!! That was all my bag of waters needed. Suddenly the bed and I were covered in amniotic fluid. Oh yes, it was as charming as it sounds. Right after this lovely moment, the anesthesiologist came in. My nurse put a chair by the side of the bed and told me to sit on the edge of the bed in front of it. Right then a mighty contraction came and I was immobilized by pain. After it passed I tried standing so I could position myself on the bed, but right away I knew it was time to push. "Ok, lay back down and I will check you again," was the nurses response. I'm pretty sure she thought I was being a little dramatic. I was not. "No, no I can't move!" Luckily I did move though. I scooted back onto the bed as best as I could, while she put on a glove. I then began to announce over and over, "she's coming!" The nurse started to check me and instead of telling us how many centimeters I was dilated, she instantly told Ryan to pull the emergency cord and had my mom put another glove on her. When the nurses responded on the intercom, she yelled "We have head!!!" Everything went so fast. Suddenly the room was full of people. A doctor got there just in time to awkwardly lean over and catch Rosie as I delivered her right onto the bed. Perfect. Oh how beautiful and perfect. Rosie was born at 5:17 a.m. on April 25, 2014. She weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was 22 inches long, which is almost exactly the same size Kylan was (he was 9 lbs 10 oz and 22.5 inches).
Our time in the hospital was peaceful. The nurses pretty much left us alone, and soon it was time to go home.
Honestly, throughout pretty much my whole labor I felt like such a weenie, but then when she came out I felt invincible. I was practically begging for an epidural, and apologizing for not sticking to my non-medicated birth plan. I felt so pathetic and miserable. But when I had her, I was a superhero I tell you! We were literally only in the hospital for 45 minutes before she was born! I did it all by myself. It was incredible.