Last night, or I suppose you could say early this morning, as I was laying in bed trying to recapture sleep after feeding Kylan, a thought occurred to me. I laid there pondering this thought for a while, till I realized that my precious minutes for sleep were tick-tick-ticking away. So I called myself a dummy and went to sleep!
But what was this thing that kept me up you might ask? Nothing ground breaking really but I find it quite interesting that as humans, we have a certain undeniable tendency to be know-it-alls! You may think otherwise, but I am willing to bet that you (yes you!) are a know-it-all! How many times have you gone into a situation thinking you knew what to expect? Probably quite a few times! And generally, I think we tend to be wrong. Serves us right, for getting all sassy pants... Years ago, I thought I knew what kind of man I wanted my husband to be. Then I met Ryan. And when we started talking about getting married (after like two or three weeks of dating, yeah we are one of those couples...) I thought I knew what marriage would be like. I thought I knew what being a teacher would be like. I thought I knew a great many things. But something I have learned is that often times, if we are following our Heavenly Father, things don't go as we thought: they are better. While Ryan is not the kind of man I thought I would marry, he is one of the greatest blessings in my life. And I am grateful every day that I was wrong. Marriage is full of trials and blessings. It is more than I could have ever dreamed, so how could I have known...
The point of these musings? Last night, while snuggled up to my sweetie I could hear our sweet child breathing. It is one of my favorite things. Just laying in bed with my husband, listening to our son breathe. Before I was pregnant and throughout the whole nine months I thought that I knew how much I wanted to be a mother. I thought I knew what it would be like, how much I would love my little one. Silly know-it-all. I've heard many people say that there is just no way to describe the love of a mother. No way to tell someone how it feels. No way to put into words the instant, binding, blinding, consuming, enriching, unconditional love that fills you the second that baby comes into the world. I thought I knew but this kid has hit me like a ton of bricks. He has changed my entire life and I can't even really remember how I ever lived without him. I thought I knew but how could I have?
How could I have known his little smile when he wakes up and sees me above his bed, would be what fuels my day? Or that his deep blue eyes would pierce right to my soul? Or that making him laugh, would become a worthy goal to which many hours are devoted?
Oh how I love being a mother.
I could definitely go on forever... Enough of the serious. So in parting I will leave you with:
***A funny little mental image...Kylan pooped through his onesie, shirt, pants, and blanket today. In addition, he leaked milk out of his mouth and onto my shirt, in just the perfect location (I was not the one that leaked! It was him I promise!). And to complete this lovely exchange he spit up on the side so that both of my girls matched. Wouldn't want one tot feeling left out now would we. My baby is very thorough (as demonstrated by his mad pooping skills!).
***And some adorable photographic images! p.s. My kiddo is a champion. He is now 2 months old and weighs over 13 pounds and is 24.5 inches long! Winner :)