Rosie's Birth Story

I wrote this shortly after Rosie was born and then, of course, I never really finished or published it. So to celebrate the first birthday of my first daughter, sweet Rosie Maria, here is the story of her birth:

I am the mother of two. It's such a strange and exciting, beautiful and sometimes overwhelming thing! Rosie is three weeks old. She is perfect and fits flawlessly into our family. My children are learning and growing and helping me to learn and grow too!

I want to take this time to write down Rosie's birth story, especially because I am dang proud of it :)

(I also want to include this. I don't care how you or anyone else gives birth. Not in the sense that I am not interested, because truthfully I love birth stories. But rather, I make no judgments! Giving birth, no matter how it's accomplished, is an incredible, beautiful, painful, and extremely hard thing to do. I feel that every woman deserves to be proud of it, no matter how it goes down. So please don't take offense to anything I say in this blog. Yes, I am extremely proud of Rosie's birth, but that does not mean that all other birth stories aren't just as worthy of pride. We are participating in a miracle. Literally in partnership with God to bring these spirits to the earth. That is an incredible thing.)

At the doctors appointment right before my due date (April 17) we set up an ultrasound, an additional appointment, and an induction date. My doctor had even offered to induce me the very next day, um, no thank you. Instead, I was set to be induced on the 28th. I was seriously dreading it.

On the 18th my mom and I went in for the ultrasound. Because we seem to be "go big or go home" kind of people when it comes to our kiddos, I have had 5 ultrasounds with each of my pregnancies. This was nothing new. When we went into the room, the ultrasound tech told me that I had been in for an ultrasound  just two weeks prior to this one. Oh really!? I had no idea, thank you for reminding me. She then informed me that they generally only do follow up ultrasounds to measure the baby 4 weeks apart, so why was I there? Um, because my doctor told me to. It's not like I ordered the ultrasound myself. Needless to say I was not really looking forward to this particular ultrasound experience. But then everything got a whole lot better! She did all the required angles and measurements, checking to make sure our little lady was just fine. She estimated that Rosie would be about 8 lbs 7 oz, obviously this was an underestimate. Then, she got a different wand thing and put it on my belly. She held it still for a few seconds and then on the screen was the most beautiful picture of my daughter. I have never had a 3D ultrasound before, and oh my gosh it blew my mind! We saw her perfect face so clearly and I was even more eager for her to be born. Little did I know, I would have to wait another week for her to make her appearance.

Rosie's due date was April 19, 2014... Well this lovely Saturday came and went with not a single contraction or any sign that our little girl would be born soon. The 19th was the day before Easter, and the day we chose to have our egg hunt, so I was okay with still being pregnant. It meant that I was able to celebrate with everyone. Well as much as you can celebrate, while a million weeks pregnant, that is.

Over the next several days I tried to maintain a positive attitude. If I was ever quiet or still, Ryan would ask me if I was okay and every day he would ask "Are you going to have your baby today?" I honestly didn't care when she came, as long as it was before our induction date. But, each day past my due date that ended without a baby or even contractions was extremely discouraging. The hardest part was not knowing when I was going to go into labor. Not knowing meant that there was no way for me to really plan ahead of time who would watch Kylan while we were at the hospital. I had asked several people and of course they had different availablilites, so the "when" was a question that constantly haunted me.

My mom came to stay with us on Wednesday night. At this point, I felt as if I was never going to go into labor. Even though I was so relieved she was there, I felt awful for taking her away from her life. But then, the next day felt different.

I started leaking what I thought might be amniotic fluid Thursday morning. It continued throughout the day but I still wasn't having any contractions. Ryan got home from work and again asked me when I was going to have my baby. I didn't know, but I was beginning to think that this might be the day. My contractions started around 5, but they were far apart and very inconsistent. I was terrified they would stop. I didn't want to tell anyone, not even Ryan and my mom, because I didn't want it to just be false labor. Even though I wasn't sure, I clung to Kylan that evening. I hated to think about being away from him while I was in the hospital and I wanted to cherish every second with him before he went to bed, and I went to have a baby.

The contractions continued , but they were still 10-15 minutes apart and inconsistent. We tried to figure out what to do if I needed to go to the hospital that night. Thankfully, my wonderful sister was willing to drive an hour after working all evening, to stay with Ky. Once that was settled and my bags were waiting by the door, we decided that we might as well get some sleep while we could. This was at about 10:30 or 11:00. I dozed a little, but I was never really able to sleep. The contractions were so intense and I was feeling tons of pressure, even though they were still about 5 to 10 minutes apart. Kylan woke up around 1:30, and I went to comfort him, glad that I was able to see him one more time before we left for the hospital. I labored while everyone slept until I just didn't want to be by myself anymore. I woke Ryan up at 3:30 and he was so sweet and supportive. After just a half hour more I decided I was ready to go the hospital. Ryan woke my mom up and off we went. The 20 minute ride seemed to last an eternity and every contraction made me feel like I was going to die! While he was driving, Ryan tried to comfort me. My whole pregnancy and really ever since I had Kylan, I was determined to not get an epidural. The epidural I got with Kylan didn't even have time to go into effect before he was here. If I could get that far, surely I could go all the way without one. Oh man. These contractions convinced me otherwise. Each time I felt one beginning, I wanted to just escape my own treacherous body and hide somewhere without pain. I decided during that lovely ride that an all natural birth could go to heck, I wanted the epidural 5 hours ago! Ryan tried to comfort me, saying that when I had gotten to that point with Kylan I was already almost done. So maybe that was the case this time as well. With the contractions still pretty far apart I wasn't convinced.

When we got to the labor and delivery triage around 4:30 a.m., everything started moving so fast. When Kylan was born, checking in seemed to take forever. We had to fill out paperwork, they made me leave a sample and weighed me... This time I was in and out of triage in just a few minutes. When they checked me I was at a 6. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I immediately said yes! I practically begged for one. They told me that I could get one as soon as my labs came back, which would take about 15 minutes. I was dying. There was so much pressure and with every contraction I felt like I was going to poop (which is how I had been feeling for a while), gross but true. My nurse checked me again, and said I was at a 7 and that my water was super close to breaking, which she said explained the pressure. They brought in the cart for the epidural and I still felt like I just couldn't make it. Each contraction, all I could say and think was "no no no no no!" I just didn't want to do it! I told my mom and nurse that I still felt so much pressure. They said that it was okay, so with the next contraction I just pushed to try and relieve the pressure... Whoosh!!! That was all my bag of waters needed. Suddenly the bed and I were covered in amniotic fluid. Oh yes, it was as charming as it sounds. Right after this lovely moment, the anesthesiologist came in. My nurse put a chair by the side of the bed and told me to sit on the edge of the bed in front of it. Right then a mighty contraction came and I was immobilized by pain. After it passed I tried standing so I could position myself on the bed, but right away I knew it was time to push. "Ok, lay back down and I will check you again," was the nurses response. I'm pretty sure she thought I was being a little dramatic. I was not. "No, no I can't move!" Luckily I did move though. I scooted back onto the bed as best as I could, while she put on a glove. I then began to announce over and over, "she's coming!" The nurse started to check me and instead of telling us how many centimeters I was dilated, she instantly told Ryan to pull the emergency cord and had my mom put another glove on her. When the nurses responded on the intercom, she yelled "We have head!!!" Everything went so fast. Suddenly the room was full of people. A doctor got there just in time to awkwardly lean over and catch Rosie as I delivered her right onto the bed. Perfect. Oh how beautiful and perfect. Rosie was born at 5:17 a.m. on April 25, 2014. She weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was 22 inches long, which is almost exactly the same size Kylan was (he was 9 lbs 10 oz and 22.5 inches).

Our time in the hospital was peaceful. The nurses pretty much left us alone, and soon it was time to go home.

Honestly, throughout pretty much my whole labor I felt like such a weenie, but then when she came out I felt invincible. I was practically begging for an epidural, and apologizing for not sticking to my non-medicated birth plan. I felt so pathetic and miserable. But when I had her, I was a superhero I tell you! We were literally only in the hospital for 45 minutes before she was born! I did it all by myself. It was incredible.

The quickest, most incredible, beautiful, wonderful, glorious, tear-filled, loudest, proudest year.

When Kylan was born, I found a piece of myself that I didn't know was missing. A vital piece, without which, life is just not possible. How then, did I ever live without him?! I have been wondering that for an entire year now.

I am, so often, completely overwhelmed with love for him and gratitude for the privilege of being his mother. What a special year it has been!
** I know it's been quite a long time since Ky's birthday, but I wrote most of this right after he turned one and like I said, I am still going to post it :)

I have a one year old. ONE. My son has had a birthday. Because he is one. We have celebrated the first anniversary of his birth. Because it happened a year ago... Yeah, no matter how much I say it, it just refuses to sink in! My boy is so big!!!

A few weeks ago he discovered that he can climb up onto the ottoman. Since then, he has expanded his conquered territory from the living room floor to encompass all the mountainous terrain that is the furniture! Climbing up on the couch may just be his favorite thing to do.

He is also a big fan of throwing fits... When he is unhappy with the way things are going down, he has no qualms about letting you know it. We are talking arched back, limp noodle legs, whining, crying, and a death grip on whatever it is he wants. This might be a bit inconvenient if it weren't so darn cute!!!

Kylan's receptive language is great, and when he wants to, he is really good at following simple directions. As far as expressive language goes, mostly it's just "mama" and "dada" and if I'm being completely honest..... Really it's a whole lot of "dada", which Ryan loves. If Ryan is in a different room, Kylan will stand at the gate and call to him! It just melts my heart, seeing them together :)

Kylan took his first, precious, unsteady, little steps the day before his birthday! I was completely stunned and unbelievably excited! Since then he has started standing up, without any assistance and without holding on to anything, more and more. He takes a few steps a day, but it takes a lot of coaxing to make it happen. I have found that I have to use just the right toy and be the perfect distance away...too close and he just grabs me and walks over holding on to me, too far away and he decides walking isn't worth it, so he plops down and crawls. I know that he is capable, he just wants to do it in his own time and that is just fine with me! I love my little boy!

Kylan loves swimming. He has so much fun in the water, kicking and splashing and smiling like crazy! He especially loves wading pools, where he can crawl and walk around. He also really loves putting things into buckets or Tupperware. He loves knocking down towers I build for him. Ky loves playing ball. He throws the little tennis ball all over and gets so excited. He especially loves it when he has an audience and gets a round of applause!

It's amazing how quickly time goes by. I am so blessed. I have loved every second of being a mama this past year and am so grateful for the sacred responsibility.

11 months... Better late than never!

Playing catch up!!!
I would like to offer this short story as an explanation for my hiatus...
Once upon a time, my compute died and life moved on so fast that blogging was just not a priority. The end.

My sweet Kylan is now more of a little boy than a baby! But because this is my blog and I do what I want I am still going to post the 11 and 12 month posts I started like 7 or 8 months ago! And then maybe I will try to get up to date!

Some of the highlights from my little one's journey from 10 to 11 months include:

Waving, Kylan really perfected his wave during this time! And not only that but he really grew to looooove it. He will wave at complete strangers and even trees. Sometimes, when the little sweetie is tired, you get the thumb-sucking wave, and oh man, I tell you what, it is the cutest thing!!!

He also really mastered clapping and by the time 11 months came around, he was a pro. Watching his little face light up as he claps is one of my favorite things ever.

Because we started solid foods pretty late, Kylan didn't really start feeding himself till about 10 months, but he picked it up really fast. During this time we also moved to three meals of solid food a day, with some snacks in between... Because my boy eats breakfast, lunch, dinner, just like a big kid!

Kylan got the hang of walking while pushing things really quick and by the time he was 11 months he could walk while holding one of my hands. He is getting more and more steady on his feet all the time!

Playtime for Kylan is getting so fun and exciting. He loves imitating. When I put a toy on my head and let it fall off, he laughs so much and then tries so hard to put the toy on his head so he can do it too. It is amazing watching him learn! He also really loves combing his hair. If you give him a brush or a comb, he immediately begins running it through his hair (or skimming it across the top of his head).

He is getting so big, so fast and I feel incredibly blessed to be able to love him, teach him, and watch him grow!

Ten months.... or so

Oh my my. it seems that I have been either quite busy or quite lazy for the last few weeks... opposites, I know, but either one would explain why my little man is almost 11 months and I have yet to write his ten month update... Hmmm. Lets go with "I have been quite busy lately"... it sounds better than the alternative, dontcha think?!

So yes. Kylan is ten months old. Two to one. Two more months to one year old! And what an exciting time this is!!! Kylan learns new and incredible things ever day, it seems!

By ten months old, Kylan had four teeth. The poor little fellow has been in a pretty constant state of painful teething for the past few weeks. Coupled with his bouts of sickness (he just had a cold a couple of times, nothing major) our sleeping through the night days are long gone. I am staying optimistic, but with only four hours of sleep some nights, I don't think I can afford to be pessimistic about his night time sleep habits, or I might just lose it :)

I am trying to only include his achievements and awesomeness of the ten month old variety, but everything is seeming to blur together... however, I will do the best I can!

At about this time, Kylan and I finally got the rhythm of only two naps a day down. He is an excellent napper, and a pro at putting himself to sleep... which is a great blessing.

Kiddo pretty much rules the roost. We often refer to His Adorableness as, The Dictator... and believe me, you do not want to upset The Dictator. You take something away from him, even something potentially dangerous, and he is not afraid to make his displeasure known!

Kylan stands by himself more and more every day. Most of the time when I look over at him, there he is completely engrossed in whatever object he is holding, standing there unsupported! It is both exciting and sometimes frightening! He has even gotten to the point where if he wobbles or loses his balance, he is able to correct it without support or assistance. And when the unsteadiness will not be denied, he is a professional faller :)

Kylan is definitely in the "stranger danger" and "seperation anxiety" phase... He will smile and flirt shyly like nobody's business, but you try to hold him and oh man. Let the crying and flailing commence! Don't feel too bad though strangers, even Daddy gets this reaction sometimes... This mama is pretty much the all time winner! He sure does love his Daddy, but there are somethings only Mama can fix, and sometimes only Mama is good enough.... and believe me Mama does not mind one bit!

I am so grateful for this little guy and I cannot believe that he is nearly one year old!!!

Luckily I was not so lazy.... er, um... I mean busy... and did in fact take his ten month pictures on time :)

9 Months

Kylan is now nine months old. He is big and small and smart and funny and sweet and snuggly and mischievous and curious and inventive and resourceful and mobile and perfect. I tell him he is special every single day. I hope he always knows how loved he is. I am so proud of my boy.

Kylan has his nine months check up next week (NO SHOTS!!! YAY!) so I will fill ya in on his stats then. But as far as I know he is as tall and skinny as ever :)
*** Update! (I wrote this last week...) Kylan's appointment was yesterday! My boy is so big! He is 20 pounds 3 ounces and 30 inches tall!

I feel like this past month just sneaked right by. I even had to pull up my blog from last month so see what's new!

This boy is standing all over the place. He likes to tempt fate or gravity or whatever you want to call it, so while standing as sturdy as a little tree holding onto something, he suddenly decides that he no longer needs the support. Either that or he decides that the toy he is playing with is more important than his balance and therefore requires both hands. Usually he can handle a few seconds before he either rushes to meet the floor, or he grabs back onto whatever was helping keep him upright.

One of my favorite things lately is something simple, but infinitely sweet. When Kylan sees me, if he isn't too busy :), he crawls over to me speedy quick, and then pulls himself up and stands holding onto my legs. If his ability to do this also means that he can also get into pretty much anything that is put on our side tables... it is well worth it!

This month our laundry basket turned into the Baby Zoomer! I just made that name up right this very second, but I like it! We have contemplated buying Kylan some kind of push toy, so that he can practice his awesome pre-walking skills, but really why bother?! An upside down laundry basket is all this kid needs. I was completely astonished the first time he started walking across the room behind his little Baby Zoomer, but I guess I have to face the facts: this kid is going to be walking before I know it!

Another tooth has graced this adorable kiddo's smile this month. Kristine has informed me that it's name is "o"... slowly but surely we are building the alphabet in my little one's mouth! :) Right now he is working on one of his top teeth, hopefully it will be in soon!

We have now added banana, avocado, squash, and apple to the list of foods that Baby Gus has tried. Turns out, as far as Kylan is concerned, avocados are not to be eaten! Bananas and apples, he liked. And he was ok with squash... But sweet potatoes are still the reigning champion. I am not sure anything is going to be able to top them!

Little One has been sick this week, which is why we are so late in posting this! While I feel so bad for kiddo, I have really been loving how snuggly he is! In general, Kylan is a pretty cuddly boy, but since he hasn't been feeling well, he just lays on me almost all day long. I love this guy so much, it is mind blowing!

 Behind the scenes!

8 months

.... Come again? My baby is how old?

I know, I know. I wonder though. Will it ever cease to amaze me, how fast this kid grows, how old he is, how big he is, how much I love him, how perfectly adorable he is?... I doubt it.

From a super quick and not super accurate measuring the other day (to see if we could squeeze in one more use of our infant carseat, so that we didn't have to take his new one out of our car), we determined that he is definitely over 29 inches these days... but as far as stats go, that's all I got for ya!

This month has been a super fun one. Kylan is so playful and is such a joy! Plus we had quite a few exciting new developments!

Kylan zooms around like a little crawling speed racer. He is in and out and all around, everywhere. Tiny little spaces between furniture suddenly become mysterious and alluring baby tunnels when he is near. And no obstacle is too daunting for him to take on. He gets himself into the most entertaining situations because he things he can go anywhere and do anything!

It wasn't long after he started crawling that Baby Gus started pulling himself up to a standing position. He started with our super fancy schmancy printer cover/PS3 stand (also known as an upside down laundry basket!) and then quickly moved on to the ottoman and the couch. Soon he was pulling himself up and standing in his crib! I had to move his bed down twice because that giant monster boy is just so tall. The kid totally tries to climb out of his crib too, so its a good thing I moved it when I did! He also really enjoys pulling himself up on the baby gate and bookshelf... Oh the joys of baby-proofing that have come my way!

Kid has also started cruising along the couch and ottoman, taking a few unsteady, perfectly endearing side-steps at a time. It is so fun to watch him work for what he wants, and to see his face light up when he finally reaches the toy or remote or whatever the object of his desire might be. He doesn't go too far or too fast yet, but I am sure that in no time he will be walking along the couch like a pro!

This month was also when Kylan's first tooth appeared! His super smart dental assistant/almost hygienist auntie informed me that said adorable tooth is a "p" tooth. I have always loved Kylan's huge and completely contagious grin, but it is so fun seeing his little tooth peeking out now! I love that one-tooth smile :)

We started little man on "solids" or as I call it "real food" (because breastmilk is fake food? eh... who knows or can understand how my brain works!)... He is not so much a fan of the lovely homemade brown rice cereal I whipped up for him but with the sweet potatoes it was love at first bite! We have also tried zucchini, and while he seemed to like them, they definitely did not get the enthusiasm that the sweet potatoes did. We are going to be trying avocado and bananas soon... I think those will both be a hit, but we shall see! He is so good at eating off of the spoon though, and feeding him is so much fun! He gets so excited, he jumps up and down and leans forward really far with his mouth open. And he is pretty much a black hole :) I get to the bottom of the bowl but there he is looking at me with his huge "p" tooth smile, jumping up and down practically screaming at me "Mom I am so excited for more food!!!!! Where is my next bite?!?!?!"

I am about a week late posting this but first Mr. Eight Months Old was sick, and now I am... So ya win some, ya lose some, ya write some a week late! No biggie :)